Lots of people want to ride in a limo with you. But, you need a friend who’ll take the bus with you when the limo breaks down” – Oprah Winfrey
Caught in the heat of the moment, we often water down the importance of having genuine friends in adulthood. As kids, it is normal to have a whole bunch of friends.
As life progresses and each of your childhood friends gets to nurture a life of their own, friendship gets distant as we acquire new acquaintances in college, at work, social places etc.
As adults, getting real friends who’d ride or die with you is a daunting task. We create alliances out of convenience to help us when we need help – professionally.
The introduction of psychologists/counselors isn’t helping a thing. We see no sense in having someone to talk to when we can pay to get heard.
Friendship is a really big deal. You know that saying, “it takes a village ……….”
If you need a reason for finding a genuine friend in adulthood, then hear me out,
Loneliness can be lethal.
There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. For one, solitude is by choice, loneliness isn’t. A recent study showed that patients who had friends and family visiting often healed faster and quicker compared to those who had few or no visitors.
Friendship is more of quality than quantity. It is not about how many friends you have but rather how many are real and genuine. When things go south, will they still hold their position by your side?
Friendship is about being real
Most of what we consider friendship is actually people we get used to. I’d call them activity buddies. Friendship is about focusing on the person not what you are doing together.
It’s about not getting distracted when we are with them.
Friendship grows deep with opening-up
Men often find it difficult to open up. We face a lot of struggles and the society is doing us no good. We are encouraged to man up or ship out. This results in our own struggles eating us inside out.
This is not healthy, and there is only so much one can take before they reach a breaking point.
A good friend will know when something is ailing you. They will encourage you to open up and they won’t judge you. They listen and care. This deepens your friendship and makes you feel better.
Let it hurt you, but it is the truth
A true friend will accept who you are and at the same time help mould you to be who you should be.
As the doctor always says for the good, “this is not what you would want to hear, but for your own good, you need to hear it.”
A good friend will know what you need to hear and they will tell it to you. It is only after a while that you will realize that they had to tell you so that you would become better.
People who sugar-coat things to make you feel nice are not good friends.
You need a pillar to support you.
I think the phrase “manning up” is often misused. A man is a human being and a normal one at it.
We have no superpowers to be able to take all the happenings lying down.
There is nothing worse than being in a dire situation and you have no one to turn to. Great friends will root for you no matter what.
We’re all men. We’re all in this together. Your friends are the family you choose.
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